“Reparative
Therapy”: The attempt to change a
person’s innate sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. The term suggests that something is sick or broken
and needs to be cured or fixed. Despite
overwhelming evidence to the contrary, the erroneous belief persists that
“reparative therapy” can actually work. Instead,
it causes harm to everyone involved. A
comment from this blog, quoted with permission, gives just one example.
I was married for 18 years. . .
. I got pregnant 3 months after we got married and all the sex stopped as soon
as I got home with the baby. . . . I couldn’t do anything right . . . A
negative and hateful monster began and he is still in denial, even after being
caught at gay parks and bringing a strange man to our home. We've had counseling from a place in Nashville that insisted he
could be cured and it [homosexuality] was a choice. Even a PhD that has been on Dateline and has
[written] books told me so. It’s been a
nightmare. He threw our family away for
"friendships" all through the years, telling me I was crazy for not
wanting him to have friends. Everything
was my fault--everything. . . . These men in denial are wrecks and mad at the
world, taking it out on all who enter their paths.
The woman quoted here speaks of suffering from two
sources: Denial on the part of her
husband that he is actually homosexual, and the failure of reparative therapy
to change that fundamental fact. Sexual
orientation is inborn, not learned nor chosen.
And it can’t be changed by any means.
Those who claim they’ve been “cured” of their attraction to the same sex
have either chosen or been forced to suppress their own sexuality.
Organizations like Focus on the
Family and Exodus International claim to “cure” people who “choose” to be
gay. Their arguments are based on two
false assumptions: That being gay is a mental illness, and that sexual
orientation is a conscious choice. Those
assumptions have been rejected by creditable therapists, united in one voice
through their professional organizations.
As early as 1973, the American
Psychiatric Association eliminated homosexuality from their official manual of
mental and emotional disorders. Two
years later, in 1975, the American Psychological Association supported that
action. In 1990, that organization made
a direct statement about reparative therapy, concluding that efforts to convert
sexual orientation are unsuccessful and do great psychological harm.
Now, once again, the American Psychological Association has reviews the issue. At their annual meeting in Toronto earlier this month, they issued the strongest rejection yet of the efficacy of reparative
therapy. A six-member task force examined
83 studies on attempts to change sexual orientation conducted since 1960. Their report repudiated reparative therapy
and was endorsed by the APA’s governing
council for the 150,000-member association.
They adopted a resolution, passed with a 125 to 4 vote, asserting that no evidence exists that homosexual people
can become heterosexual. Moreover, efforts to force change in sexual
orientation is harmful, inducing depression and suicidal tendencies.
This latest resolution strengthens
previous APA statements on this divisive issue with guidance on how therapists should approach
gay clients struggling to remain faithful to a religion that condemns
homosexuality. The task force suggested
that therapists might transcend negative beliefs about homosexuality through
reliance on overriding principles of religious teachings, such as hope and
forgiveness. Instead of offering
extreme, detrimental treatments that attempt to change an individual’s sexual
orientation, therapists should help people explore their realistic options—ranging
from celibacy to changing churches.
Task force chair, Judith Glassgold,
a psychologist from Highland Park, New
Jersey, suggested that “Both sides have to educate
themselves better. Religious
psychotherapists have to open up their eyes to the potential positive aspects
of being gay or lesbian. Secular
therapists have to recognize that some people will choose their faith over
their sexuality.”
Being gay or being straight is not
a choice. How we live out our personal
reality does offer a variety of options—acceptance or denial, openness or repression. Based on my contact with hundreds of
straight spouses who also must live with the results of their mate’s hard
choices, I cast my own vote for the freedom
borne of open acceptance of who we are—gay or straight or anywhere in
between. Live your truth!
This is an evil practice. Besides that, what I don't understand is why people want other people to be just like they are. Difference is the spice of life. Difference keeps me challenged and interesting. At the same time, let's not lose track of the idea that forcing anyone to be something you think is right makes you evil.
Carol, your blog is lovely and provides a voice for many who feel silenced. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about reparative "therapy." I, too, have spoken to many who have struggled with their journeys and bought into these scams because they were sanctioned by their communities of faith. I have never met anyone who left reparative "therapy" having rid themselves of the desire for same sex attaction. It really should be criminal to offer such programs under a helpful guise
Keep up the good work, Carol!
Hi Carol,
Thanks for posting this timely and interesting information. I've forwarded your email to the Straight Partners Anonymous group, so hopefully you'll receive a few more views from this side of the pond!
Those straight people who persist in believing that sexual orientation is a matter of choice should ask themselves if their orientation is down to choice. I'm straight not because I choose to be, but because I am... just like I have blue eyes and brown hair.
Unfortunately, those people who support reparative therapy are coming at sexual orientation from a simplistic angle and trying to make people 'fit' their particular religious view. How cruel. Is it too strong to say that they're bigoted?
Janice
Thank you for these comments, received from the U.S. and Great Britain. I've answered several other emails about my article on reparative therapy. One gentleman poured out his personal experience with this misguided process--and its damaging results. With his permission, I'm quoting it in full in a new blog post. Please watch for it if you're especially interested in this subject. His story is riveting.
Carol Grever