If you searched out Straight Spouse Connection, you are probably in the grip of grief. Loss drives straight spouses to come here seeking information, comfort, and connection. The articles here emphasize assurance that pain passes and a calmer, happier future is possible. In many cases, the mixed-orientation crisis opens a door to something even better.
I found echoes of that inspiring truth in one of my favorite blogs, Andi O’Conor’s Burning Down the House: Essays on the Poetry of Loss. Andi’s family home burned when she was twelve, her parents and siblings barely escaping by jumping out second-story windows. Again, as an adult, fire destroyed the home she’d built for herself in Four Mile Canyon near Boulder, Colorado. Andi writes of these ironic, devastating losses in a wise, constructive way.
Her latest post also has a link to her TED talk titled “A Pretty Good Deal.” In this moving video, she gives convincing evidence that “losing everything can restore your faith in humanity.”
I highly recommend that you visit and browse Andi’s posts to learn how she overcame loss and grief and rebuilt a more rewarding life and career. Her story is full of hope and it’s totally relevant to the straight spouse experience. Above all, take ten minutes to watch her TED Talk.
Like Andi, people in mixed orientation relationships may be living in a "house with walls that need to come down." I’ve tested and witnessed that concept personally and found it sound. Every seeming disaster in my past has somehow opened my heart and mind to something better. That message is so beautifully stated in Andi's blog and her video. I'm a grateful fan and I think you will be as well.