When
the initial confusion settles after a gay married person comes out, the
straight partner has a life-changing decision to make: Divorce or remain in the
marriage. Many factors determine the
answer to that question—longevity of the partnership, children, finances,
emotional attachment among them. It is
seldom an automatic decision.
Because
mixed-orientation relationships are shadowed in secrecy, it is impossible to
say with certainty how many stay together after one partner comes out. The common estimate is that 85% of
gay-straight couples split and 15% stay together, at least for a time. According to one study by Amity Pierce Buxton
with the Straight Spouse Network, one-third of couples separate immediately
after the gay spouse comes out, another third attempt to remain together but
break up later, and another third remain committed to the marriage. However, after three years, only half of
these couples are still together.
Clearly,
the large majority of straight spouses decide to divorce. Separating is never easy, but it is
particularly challenging if the marriage is long-standing. Divorce is complicated in itself, but the
myriad personal details surrounding the process make it nearly
overwhelming.
A
new workbook can help. Mandy Walker
writes about these matters on her blog, Since
My Divorce, www.sincemydivorce.com Her free self-help
workbook, Visioning Your Life After
Divorce, is offered on that site. Mandy
has also just published an e-book, available for Kindle on Amazon.com. Untangling From Your Spouse: How to Prepare
for Divorce offers practical information on the logistics of ending a
marriage. It is forthright and clear, a
listing of steps necessary for self-protection legally, personally, and
financially. For example, the book gives practical advice regarding changing
passwords and mail arrangements, insurance matters, credit card protection, and
living arrangements. The resource list
at the end suggests additional helpful online sites.
Mandy
is motivated by integrity, not revenge.
Her straightforward e-book and workbook can be valuable for straight
spouses who decide to launch a new life on their own.
